Trophy wives are supposed to give back.  It is virtually impossible to envision someone you want to emulate in every way without admiring their charitable nature.  A few years ago I was able to become a victim's advocate.  This volunteer position included rigorous training, and many painful challenges that I had to come to grips with.  I would be "on call" for 24 hours at a time.  If the police were called in for a domestic violence dispute or a rape, an advocate would be summoned to the scene.  We would comfort the victims, talk to them, take their statements, help them file protective orders, hold their hand at the hospital - whatever they needed.  The logic was that the last thing a woman needs after an ordeal like that is to talk to a man wearing a gun.  I loved the work, but statistically speaking they usually go back to their abuser.  That was a hard pill to swallow.  Since I had young children the position was too demanding so I had to give it up.  One day I will volunteer as an advocate again.  If you have the stomach and patience for it the rewards are immeasurable.

Due to my busy schedule I have had to find another way to volunteer that worked around the other demands in my life.  I found a project called FamilySearch Indexing.  What an interesting way to volunteer!  Basically the service keeps every kind of record about every human that's ever been recorded.  You are able to access the records to gain insight into your family history.  Volunteers download record images and key in the information, so things can be in an electronic format.  Lately I've been working on the 1930 census, mostly in New York.  I've become a very creative and visual person as an adult.  I find my imagination creating entire lives as I'm entering the names of strangers.  The census takers recorded families with names, ages, their title in the family, race, where they were born, where their parents were born, when they immigrated to the US, how much they pay in rent or how much their house is worth, marital status, and a whole bunch of other stuff. 

As I enter the names I find myself recreating their lives in my head.  Take Sophia, for example.  She's 59 and widowed.  She lives in a modest home in the city.  She's white and was born in the US.  Her parents were both from Italy, and her mother lives with her now.  I picture her work-worn hands that provide for her 6 children at home.  She also has two boarders that live with her.  Sometimes I pretend the boarders are there because the Sophia needs the extra rent money, sometimes they are relatives of close friends in Italy.  Sophia loves to play records and dance in the kitchen while she is cooking.  Her apartment is modest and clean, but there are a few treasures she proudly displays.  Her husband was killed in an accident that occurred while he was working on the Brooklyn Bridge.  Her children adore her, as does her mother on her good days.  Mother suffers from dementia, and often gets very cranky wondering when her beloved Frank will get home from work (Frank's been dead for nearly 20 years now).

I love the classic names - Annie, Stanley, Edna, William.  I love the beautiful penmanship.  Nowadays everything is printed from a computer.  I miss handwritten letters.

This work has become very dear to me.  Last week I was entering draft records for WWII.  With every name I entered I wondered what became of them.  Did they make it through the war alive?  Did they earn a medal?  Was their mind "right" after the war?  How did they transition back to the everyday routine?

There are millions of people on this planet.  We have no idea what each one has been through, is going through, or will go through.  It is important, especially during this recession, that we remember to be especially kind to others.  Don't just offer to help, insist on helping.  We can all do better.  I can definitely do better.  My neighbor's father has been sick for some time and is expected to die any day.  I haven't even called.  That settles it - I'm taking them dinner tomorrow.  What are you going to do to help someone in need today?

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